If you are a big fan of my generally super-positive blog posts, then you might just want to skip past this one. I have tried to bring myself to write about this for months now, but I always stop because…. I don’t really care. I lost a lot of respect for Metallica when they started suing their Napster using fans. I understand that they work hard to create music and they should be paid for their efforts… but, when one of the richest bands in the world starts suing their hardworking fans (that are responsible for making Metallica uber-rich). I just lost respect. Anyway, I will probably catch flack for saying it, but… whatever. And, no matter how fucking awesome Lou Reed is (read: was), I just have a hard time caring.
So, Metallica and Lou Reed have teamed up to drive the media in a frenzy. I mean every media outlet announced that they were collaborating. Every media outlet churned out drivel when the record got a name (it’s Lulu). Every media outlet grabbed our attention with the announcement that cover art had been selected for the record. I finally forced myself to break down and listen to the stream of this amazingly marketed collaboration today.
Wow… thank you internet for allowing me to stream this record. I now know that I don’t want to buy it. I have no idea what is going on here. Was the first line of “Brandenburg Gate”, “I would cut my legs and tits off when I think of Boris Karloff and Kinski in the dark of the moon.” WTF? Is this a joke? Are you kidding me? This whole record sounds like a joke to me. I seriously think Metallica recorded a meh instrumental record, and gave it to Lou Reed, along with a bottle of whiskey and some LSD, and told him to make up some words. Holy shit, this is awful. It’s so bad, I kinda hope they all own vintage Gibson Guitars, and get arrested in customs somewhere, so the world won’t ever have to be subjected to something like this again.
Breathe, breathe…..Ok, it’s time for me to get all positive and happy. Do you want to know the best part of the internet? You can close windows, delete your history, clear your cache, and it is like it never happened. Yeah, you know what I am talking about goat porn dude. Anyway, have a listen for yourself, if you care.
Please note that the music on that link is copyrighted, so I wouldn’t download it or you might get sued by a bunch of rich dudes.